[ me holding kaworu in my hands in the cyoa like we gon GET you some therapy, boy
anyway. poor thing... strohl looks sympathetic, mouth twitching up at the corner in a smile - he comes over to fuss briefly, fixing up his blankets to make sure he's tucked in nicely. ]
You look like hell. No offence. [ ha ha... but the slight jokiness of it is wan and thin, and he comes to sit by the bed after. ] ...You were in Euchronia.
[ mm. it comes with a twinge of guilt just to hear it - he already knew, could tell on sight, but nothing hurts like knowing the people you care for were injured on some trip based on you.
he watches kaworu for a moment - notes that, that he told him he was feeling poorly, holds that trust tight to his chest - and then exhales. ]
...I'm sorry. I know it's little in the face of what horrors you must have seen, but... nevertheless. [ ... ] Do you want to talk about it? [ softer. ] Or no?
[ baby. well - that catches his attention, of course, and he looks down at it - then huffs, softly, and taps his hand against his own heart. ]
... I felt the same. [ he shifts a little bit, moving his jabot over his shoulder and out of the way so he can undo a single button on his shirt, push it aside so kaworu can see the matching scar to the one he likely has, now. ] When I Awakened to my archetype. Sometimes, I still wonder if the moment in the sanctum was reality or not.
That's what happened to you. Right? [ with a nod to the vessel ]
I died there. And then I awoke somewhere else entirely. A place that was real and unreal at the same time. A voice spoke to me. Then when I returned, I was different.
[The voice had been kind and despite his nature, he had not shied away from it.]
[ softly. he readjusts, fixing the button on his shirt again. ]
That's the eldan sanctum - the place that you found yourself. It...I've only been there now beyond that moment once, myself, but to Awaken like that is no small feat. It takes a great amount of courage, to face one's fears.
[Reaches up and touches the scar on his chest. It's still raw and healing but he's not bleeding out anymore. Eventually he'll come to match Strohl. Though... courage? Perhaps... he hadn't felt courageous in the moment, just unable to keep standing still]
I'm no expert. [ he says, first, just as a warning - that's will's thing, not his, he does not know so much. however... ] But...
As far as Will's explained, the archetypes are something like... it's a manifestation of acceptance, of your own fears and your anxieties - and using them as your strength. The archetypes themselves are magic - true magic, in our world, which has long been hidden away. It's a product of our old world, and the forms themselves are those of the Hero Kings, who existed centuries ago - they harnessed their fear and anxiety, and their archetypes are the ones that we all are able to utilise as well. Whatever your heart felt in that moment, you reached for the archetype that was the closest to your true self.
As for the Seeker... [ there's a pause. strohl closes his eyes, thinking of learning the archetype at will's behest. about the way it feels to utilse it, and of course - about will. it puts a smile on his face, gentle. ] ...The Seeker is just what he sounds like - the one who seeks. Someone who is curious, and willing to go forth to answer that curiosity, and help others do the same. It leads him to others - lord knows it led him to me.
I think I am seeking a lot of things. But my fears had prevented me from seeking what I wanted. I feared it being dangerous or suffering as result of my actions.
That's what an Awakening is about. It's about admitting that you have the fears, and utilising them.
[ he sets his hand against his own heart. ]
... And, sure. It's blocked by this place. I've not got access to my archetype right now, but that doesn't mean it's gone, nor does it change what happened.
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anyway. poor thing... strohl looks sympathetic, mouth twitching up at the corner in a smile - he comes over to fuss briefly, fixing up his blankets to make sure he's tucked in nicely. ]
You look like hell. No offence. [ ha ha... but the slight jokiness of it is wan and thin, and he comes to sit by the bed after. ] ...You were in Euchronia.
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[He just didn't want to say it. To worry anyone. He lets Strohl fuss. It's kind of comforting because Anders fusses like that sometimes too.]
Yeah, I guess so.
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he watches kaworu for a moment - notes that, that he told him he was feeling poorly, holds that trust tight to his chest - and then exhales. ]
...I'm sorry. I know it's little in the face of what horrors you must have seen, but... nevertheless. [ ... ] Do you want to talk about it? [ softer. ] Or no?
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[He squeezes the resonant vessel in his hand. He refused to let anyone take it from him, even when he was barely conscious.]
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... I felt the same. [ he shifts a little bit, moving his jabot over his shoulder and out of the way so he can undo a single button on his shirt, push it aside so kaworu can see the matching scar to the one he likely has, now. ] When I Awakened to my archetype. Sometimes, I still wonder if the moment in the sanctum was reality or not.
That's what happened to you. Right? [ with a nod to the vessel ]
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I died there. And then I awoke somewhere else entirely. A place that was real and unreal at the same time. A voice spoke to me. Then when I returned, I was different.
[The voice had been kind and despite his nature, he had not shied away from it.]
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[ softly. he readjusts, fixing the button on his shirt again. ]
That's the eldan sanctum - the place that you found yourself. It...I've only been there now beyond that moment once, myself, but to Awaken like that is no small feat. It takes a great amount of courage, to face one's fears.
...What did it manifest as? Your archetype.
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Though... courage? Perhaps... he hadn't felt courageous in the moment, just unable to keep standing still]
Magic Seeker.
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Same as our captain. [ warm... he loves will...seekers. ] It's a strange feeling, isn't it? Sort of... a freedom. A sense of it, anyhow.
Mine's Warrior - though, Royal Warrior, now.
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[He had transformed. He had used the power. He had heard someone calling him to it. But it wasn't a power he understood.]
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I'm no expert. [ he says, first, just as a warning - that's will's thing, not his, he does not know so much. however... ] But...
As far as Will's explained, the archetypes are something like... it's a manifestation of acceptance, of your own fears and your anxieties - and using them as your strength. The archetypes themselves are magic - true magic, in our world, which has long been hidden away. It's a product of our old world, and the forms themselves are those of the Hero Kings, who existed centuries ago - they harnessed their fear and anxiety, and their archetypes are the ones that we all are able to utilise as well. Whatever your heart felt in that moment, you reached for the archetype that was the closest to your true self.
As for the Seeker... [ there's a pause. strohl closes his eyes, thinking of learning the archetype at will's behest. about the way it feels to utilse it, and of course - about will. it puts a smile on his face, gentle. ] ...The Seeker is just what he sounds like - the one who seeks. Someone who is curious, and willing to go forth to answer that curiosity, and help others do the same. It leads him to others - lord knows it led him to me.
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I think I am seeking a lot of things. But my fears had prevented me from seeking what I wanted. I feared it being dangerous or suffering as result of my actions.
[A sigh.]
The power is gone now.
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[ he sets his hand against his own heart. ]
... And, sure. It's blocked by this place. I've not got access to my archetype right now, but that doesn't mean it's gone, nor does it change what happened.