[ hmm. well. last week they did not know if they got it right so it sure was a fluke that they? probably? did ]
We knew enough it was probably down to that list of names. But considering we're just as likely to find someone possessed, no one wants to be the one pointing fingers.
ighghggh. ] And now we sent someone off innocent, instead. I suppose we'll get a damn achievement for it.
[ ooooh he sounds heated at the last part but. he stops after that, forces himself to take a breath. ]
... I still don't understand what the hell happened with Childe. And... [ ... ] I - had a thought about Shen Qingqiu, but it - there wasn't enough. Once the orange showed up, I discarded it near entirely.
[ achievements... he sneers a little but doesn't want to linger on that either so ]
I have no idea for Childe. Maybe they're right that he was trying to get an achievement. Maybe that required both of them to die that night. [ but that sounds stupid. ] But what was your thought for Shen?
[ well. inclines his head because that is fair enough. ]
... Even if it was Rin, it's not like the guy's a serial killer. It's not anymore just to kill him for getting possessed than it'll be to kill Siffrin.
[ i cant believe i forgot he was a star im gonna jump off a cliff ]
It is. [ it is so much more than that. frustrated, but it's more upset than anything else. he scrubs a hand over his face. ] He's just a kid - if he's possessed, he's half out of his mind, and I can't just... I can't just abide by sacrificing someone else who did nothing wrong.
And I did. Voted for them and all. [ he reaches up, finally - rubs his wrist across his eyes. ] Damn it.
Then you might as well have voted for Todomatsu or Rosamund. They're just as guilty, aren't they?
[ but like strohl is crying he's not that cruel so he sighs ]
I'm saying I don't think there was a right answer unless we found whoever did it of their own volition last week. Why'd you vote for Siffrin? Thought they were acting off? We both know you didn't do it to sacrifice them above anyone else.
[ this does work - actually, this probably works better than like, anything else anyone could've gotten through? ace you're the best for this. he's got a point.
strohl sucks in a breath. holds it for a second, heels of his hands on his eyes. brings it back in. ]
Yeah. That and the stains her highness found. Not enough evidence there, either, but the time was out. [ and dw was dying. ]
Nanase must have thought so, too. The way he was acting at the end... I think we likely came to the same conclusion.
[ frustrated again - sharper, but. ] - Is it that really a mercy? To look away from it. It's - we can't just let those ugly truths lie. Even if we don't pick them, we can't just- can't just pretend it didn't happen, it's not fair to anyone.
Do you seriously think anything in this place is about fairness?
[ a little harshly ]
Sometimes it's about what people can live with doing themselves. No one wants to be the one sending a friend to the gallows because they weren't themselves for one night. And even if they looked, then what? Do you think Rin would feel better about digging his teeth in someone's arm and ripping it off because at least he gets to be murdered in turn in front of an audience? Probably by Haru, knowing this place? Is that better? Is that his fucking penance?
There's no mercy about either side of it.
[ ... a little more calmly; ]
I'm not saying sending Siffrin off in his place is better--but no one was thinking of it that way. Probably everyone who did vote for them did it for the same reason you did. They thought they were picking the right person.
But I'm not going to sit here and condemn Haru for looking away.
[ he's quiet, for a long moment - taking that in, taking in what he's saying, keeping his hand up across his own eyes. ]
... Yeah. [ just that, at first. it's rough, wool toned but it's not a disagreement. no, he knows its not penance. it's not fair. nothing about this place is fair, and he knows that too. for a moment, it reminds him so much of home. of rella, of junah, of the tragedy of a woman made to do thing she never would have for the sake of someone else's power.
silence sits heavy, but it's not an angry one. just thoughtful. bitter, maybe. full of regret. it's louis and the fire, all over again, too.
... ]
Every week, I find a new reason to hate this place and these people more and more.
[ he lets the silence sit. he's not mad at strohl. he knows fairness and justice is very important to him. but he's not going to pretend anything is moral here anyway.
so that conclusion just gets a bitter little huff from him too ]
Yeah. That's the only thing that really matters about being here. Not a single one of us would be in this scenario if it wasn't for them.
[ eventually - there's a small smile to that. very small. ]
Sort of like - if your village was burned down for the sake of someone else's rise to power, you ought not burn down someone else's village for the sake of your rise to power and revenge. Seems pretty damn basic.
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[ growly, frustrated. ] Again. Last week was a bloody fluke.
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We knew enough it was probably down to that list of names. But considering we're just as likely to find someone possessed, no one wants to be the one pointing fingers.
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ighghggh. ] And now we sent someone off innocent, instead. I suppose we'll get a damn achievement for it.
[ ooooh he sounds heated at the last part but. he stops after that, forces himself to take a breath. ]
... I still don't understand what the hell happened with Childe. And... [ ... ] I - had a thought about Shen Qingqiu, but it - there wasn't enough. Once the orange showed up, I discarded it near entirely.
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I have no idea for Childe. Maybe they're right that he was trying to get an achievement. Maybe that required both of them to die that night. [ but that sounds stupid. ] But what was your thought for Shen?
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anyway he looks deeply troubled for a second - conflicted. ]
Keep it between us. [ he trusts ace. ] ... But I was leaning towards Matsuoka.
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... So why did the orange throw you off?
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RIN WAS ON THEIR TEAM
ITS OKAY I'M JUST STUPID ] I don't - everything got all faffed up at the end. I don't know.
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... Even if it was Rin, it's not like the guy's a serial killer. It's not anymore just to kill him for getting possessed than it'll be to kill Siffrin.
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It is. [ it is so much more than that. frustrated, but it's more upset than anything else. he scrubs a hand over his face. ] He's just a kid - if he's possessed, he's half out of his mind, and I can't just... I can't just abide by sacrificing someone else who did nothing wrong.
And I did. Voted for them and all. [ he reaches up, finally - rubs his wrist across his eyes. ] Damn it.
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Then you might as well have voted for Todomatsu or Rosamund. They're just as guilty, aren't they?
[ but like strohl is crying he's not that cruel so he sighs ]
I'm saying I don't think there was a right answer unless we found whoever did it of their own volition last week. Why'd you vote for Siffrin? Thought they were acting off? We both know you didn't do it to sacrifice them above anyone else.
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strohl sucks in a breath. holds it for a second, heels of his hands on his eyes. brings it back in. ]
Yeah. That and the stains her highness found. Not enough evidence there, either, but the time was out. [ and dw was dying. ]
Nanase must have thought so, too. The way he was acting at the end... I think we likely came to the same conclusion.
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You thought he was guilty, so you voted for him. Same thing happened to everyone else that got voted for.
[ and since none of them were rin, well!!! hilarious. anyway, speaking of rin; ]
... Yeah. And I doubt Haru was the only one. People chose not to look at him. Whatever the truth was, Rin's the one who'll live with that knowledge.
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[ frustrated again - sharper, but. ] - Is it that really a mercy? To look away from it. It's - we can't just let those ugly truths lie. Even if we don't pick them, we can't just- can't just pretend it didn't happen, it's not fair to anyone.
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[ a little harshly ]
Sometimes it's about what people can live with doing themselves. No one wants to be the one sending a friend to the gallows because they weren't themselves for one night. And even if they looked, then what? Do you think Rin would feel better about digging his teeth in someone's arm and ripping it off because at least he gets to be murdered in turn in front of an audience? Probably by Haru, knowing this place? Is that better? Is that his fucking penance?
There's no mercy about either side of it.
[ ... a little more calmly; ]
I'm not saying sending Siffrin off in his place is better--but no one was thinking of it that way. Probably everyone who did vote for them did it for the same reason you did. They thought they were picking the right person.
But I'm not going to sit here and condemn Haru for looking away.
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... Yeah. [ just that, at first. it's rough, wool toned but it's not a disagreement. no, he knows its not penance. it's not fair. nothing about this place is fair, and he knows that too. for a moment, it reminds him so much of home. of rella, of junah, of the tragedy of a woman made to do thing she never would have for the sake of someone else's power.
silence sits heavy, but it's not an angry one. just thoughtful. bitter, maybe. full of regret. it's louis and the fire, all over again, too.
... ]
Every week, I find a new reason to hate this place and these people more and more.
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so that conclusion just gets a bitter little huff from him too ]
Yeah. That's the only thing that really matters about being here. Not a single one of us would be in this scenario if it wasn't for them.
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If they turn out to have a bloody sob story for a background, I've decided I don't give a damn.
[ the auditors that is!!! FUCK THOSE GUYS ]
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[ PEOPLE CAN HAVE TRAGIC BACKSTORIES AND STILL BE SHITTY
FOR EXAMPLE SCARA ]
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[ care about that in particular!!! SOMETIMES YOU'RE THE FOIL FOR THE VILLAIN AND IT GETS SHOVED UP YOUR NOSE THE ENTIRE ENDGAME ]
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Sort of like - if your village was burned down for the sake of someone else's rise to power, you ought not burn down someone else's village for the sake of your rise to power and revenge. Seems pretty damn basic.
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Yeah, pretty much. Plenty of people lead shitty lives and they didn't take it out on others. Life's about the choices you make when you can.
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...And what we do after them.
[ after those choices. he swallows, hard, finally pulling his hand away from his eyes and looking up at the ceiling of the lounge for a long moment. ]
At least it sounds like Jonas and the others will be alright.
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... Yeah. I knew they would be, but... [ well the confirmation was still a load off his mind. ]