[ this is two games i've done this to you im so sorry
noooo not that uncertainty - he shifts a little, reaches out and sets a hand on his arm to squeeze. ]
... Last thing I remember was falling out of the sky after helping His Highness get to Louis. Not often someone comes back from that. Doesn't mean I won't, but...
[ but, uh. it's pretty dire. he doesn't seem that upset about it, though. ]
[ well... it doesn't surprise him. he thinks, maybe, will would react the same way, but he smiles a little, sympathetic, but... unchanged in his convictions on this one, either. ]
...It's a fine honour, for a noble to die in service of his people. I can't say I have any regrets.
it sure is thematic! because! man! oh does strohl know exactly what rupert was feeling in that moment, he knows exactly how it feels, to be the one who has to leave. when the first person disappears, he takes a half juked step forward like he could confront the creature itself, grabs his sword the exact same moment amir does, completely ready to fight something that's not even there.
when it finishes, he's left with the haunting sounds of the screaming - quieter, quieter, and quieter. it's such a eerie familiarity to a village with so few survivors that it stuns him into silence, and he swallows loud enough you can hear his throat click. ]
-- Rupert. [ soft toned, heavy with the gravity of what he saw, with awful, horrible empathy. all of it, bundled together like a stone in his gut as he forgets entirely what they were talking about before - turning to search his face for a moment like he might find an answer there. ]
[there's a lot he could say, with the way it leaves him breathless for a moment. the way that even if it's over now, it lingers. how he still wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes convinced he's alone no matter how much he wants to focus on the present.
but he was never alone, even after this. that's part of the reason why he didn't mention it to strohl, honestly, after hearing about his village. how unfair it seems to hear about that kind of decimation, to know keenly the pain it caused, but to turn around and be able to say his people were fine in the end, that their fate was rewound. it seemed cruel. that's why the first thing he says is:]
[ whatever did it wasn't permanent - maybe it'd be different, if he was a different kind of person. maybe if strohl was like louis, he'd be bitter. angry.
but he's not. all the breath leaves him in a whoosh of relief, and it lights up his face. ]
-- Good. Good, I'm glad to hear that.
[ thank god. it doesn't even occur to him to think about halia in this moment - focus entirely on rupert. ] What happened? Were you able to defeat it and have it release them? Or...?
[he pauses for a moment, because - he isn't opposed to talking about it no matter how difficult it is, but that doesn't make the memory any easier for all that he'd like to move on past it. some sights and sounds, some feelings linger even if the situation was resolved eventually.
it's not an simple situation, either, so he needs to take a moment to decide the best way to explain regardless.]
It wasn't really a matter of releasing them or anything. They did die, it was just... Kind of like these places, where people can die, but that can be changed in the end.
[another, smaller pause.]
It wasn't really me that defeated it. Once - once everyone else was gone, it found me again, but it feeds off fear. By then, I wasn't really scared anymore. [because - what more could it do at that point?] So it couldn't do anything, and then... Something stronger than it was took pity on us all, I guess.
[ okay, he doesn't - entirely understand, but... still. he looks deeply concerned, frown crossing his face, and instinctively, sets a hand on his arm. ]
There was this boy... Well, he's a little older than me now, but he was just a kid when this story started. Something terrible happened to his kingdom... A sickness. He was the only one who survived.
[for all that he has mixed feelings on this person, he does sound sympathetic, somber, as he says that.]
There are magical beings where I'm from, and fairies are particularly powerful. The queen of those creatures saw what happened to him, and took a physical form to come down and speak to him, to offer condolences and an offer to grant him a wish. But when he told her that what he wanted was eternal happiness, the ability to never feel like this again, she said she couldn't do that. He didn't accept that - he hurt her, kept her there until she agreed. I think what she hadn't told him is that... she could do it, but it would come with a cost. But she agreed after long enough, and he let her go. I guess she thought he deserved that cost after what he did.
[chewing on his lip a little - just a little nervous gesture as he gets further into the story.]
He was blessed with perfect luck, perfect happiness, like he wanted. But every moment of that joy created a kind of ripple effect. There needed to be a balance in place, and the balance was... what you saw in that memory. Something that feeds off fear, despair, negative emotions. Something connected to him that got stronger with every person it killed. Once he realized what was happening, he was afraid, and he spent the next few years running. It wiped out the people in every single place he went, until he brought it to our kingdom.
[...]
After the queen granted his wish, she could have stepped in to stop it at any time, but she only saw him lying and running and leaving all that pain in his wake. She never saw anything worth saving. [pauses to just rub at his eyes for a second, blinking rapidly.] But everyone fought to protect me. Everyone - died to protect me, everyone. And she saw that, and she decided even if he didn't deserve her compassion anymore... Maybe the rest of us did.
So she undid his wish, and - that was it. [a beat.] Well, I say that was it, but I'm leaving out some stuff... Nothing too important to understanding the whole, though.
[solely because this tag is already so long i hate fantasy]
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[said with the kind of uncertainty bordering on panic, the kind that's hoping there's some misunderstanding.]
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noooo not that uncertainty - he shifts a little, reaches out and sets a hand on his arm to squeeze. ]
... Last thing I remember was falling out of the sky after helping His Highness get to Louis. Not often someone comes back from that. Doesn't mean I won't, but...
[ but, uh. it's pretty dire. he doesn't seem that upset about it, though. ]
It's alright, Rupert. Genuinely.
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No, it's not. It's not okay.
[he will be upset about it in his stead!!]
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...It's a fine honour, for a noble to die in service of his people. I can't say I have any regrets.
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[anyways it's time for a thematic memory. the way i picked this for you already but now it's funnier.]
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it sure is thematic! because! man! oh does strohl know exactly what rupert was feeling in that moment, he knows exactly how it feels, to be the one who has to leave. when the first person disappears, he takes a half juked step forward like he could confront the creature itself, grabs his sword the exact same moment amir does, completely ready to fight something that's not even there.
when it finishes, he's left with the haunting sounds of the screaming - quieter, quieter, and quieter. it's such a eerie familiarity to a village with so few survivors that it stuns him into silence, and he swallows loud enough you can hear his throat click. ]
-- Rupert. [ soft toned, heavy with the gravity of what he saw, with awful, horrible empathy. all of it, bundled together like a stone in his gut as he forgets entirely what they were talking about before - turning to search his face for a moment like he might find an answer there. ]
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but he was never alone, even after this. that's part of the reason why he didn't mention it to strohl, honestly, after hearing about his village. how unfair it seems to hear about that kind of decimation, to know keenly the pain it caused, but to turn around and be able to say his people were fine in the end, that their fate was rewound. it seemed cruel. that's why the first thing he says is:]
They're alive. Whatever it did wasn't permanent.
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but he's not. all the breath leaves him in a whoosh of relief, and it lights up his face. ]
-- Good. Good, I'm glad to hear that.
[ thank god. it doesn't even occur to him to think about halia in this moment - focus entirely on rupert. ] What happened? Were you able to defeat it and have it release them? Or...?
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it's not an simple situation, either, so he needs to take a moment to decide the best way to explain regardless.]
It wasn't really a matter of releasing them or anything. They did die, it was just... Kind of like these places, where people can die, but that can be changed in the end.
[another, smaller pause.]
It wasn't really me that defeated it. Once - once everyone else was gone, it found me again, but it feeds off fear. By then, I wasn't really scared anymore. [because - what more could it do at that point?] So it couldn't do anything, and then... Something stronger than it was took pity on us all, I guess.
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... Took pity? What do you mean?
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...It's probably better to start from the beginning, but it's a long story. If that's okay.
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[ immediately. ] Take as long as you need - you have my ear.
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There was this boy... Well, he's a little older than me now, but he was just a kid when this story started. Something terrible happened to his kingdom... A sickness. He was the only one who survived.
[for all that he has mixed feelings on this person, he does sound sympathetic, somber, as he says that.]
There are magical beings where I'm from, and fairies are particularly powerful. The queen of those creatures saw what happened to him, and took a physical form to come down and speak to him, to offer condolences and an offer to grant him a wish. But when he told her that what he wanted was eternal happiness, the ability to never feel like this again, she said she couldn't do that. He didn't accept that - he hurt her, kept her there until she agreed. I think what she hadn't told him is that... she could do it, but it would come with a cost. But she agreed after long enough, and he let her go. I guess she thought he deserved that cost after what he did.
[chewing on his lip a little - just a little nervous gesture as he gets further into the story.]
He was blessed with perfect luck, perfect happiness, like he wanted. But every moment of that joy created a kind of ripple effect. There needed to be a balance in place, and the balance was... what you saw in that memory. Something that feeds off fear, despair, negative emotions. Something connected to him that got stronger with every person it killed. Once he realized what was happening, he was afraid, and he spent the next few years running. It wiped out the people in every single place he went, until he brought it to our kingdom.
[...]
After the queen granted his wish, she could have stepped in to stop it at any time, but she only saw him lying and running and leaving all that pain in his wake. She never saw anything worth saving. [pauses to just rub at his eyes for a second, blinking rapidly.] But everyone fought to protect me. Everyone - died to protect me, everyone. And she saw that, and she decided even if he didn't deserve her compassion anymore... Maybe the rest of us did.
So she undid his wish, and - that was it. [a beat.] Well, I say that was it, but I'm leaving out some stuff... Nothing too important to understanding the whole, though.
[solely because this tag is already so long i hate fantasy]