...I lost the ability to talk to the person I want to speak to the most every day weeks ago. Get a letter that works, once a week, but otherwise, she's gone. And I feel it every day.
... It's... [ squinting. she is trying to be nice here but it's hard for her because she's an asshole, actually? ] Hard to think of that as a long time. Any of this.
People die and people move away and people disappear all the time. They could be gone forever, or for months, or for years, without any word at all.
[ you know, after this many weeks, it's - he can tell. it's the effort she's putting in, and it's...
honestly, he's touched. it puts a small smile on his face, lopsided, and strohl huffs, looking down at his hands, and says wryly: ] Suppose that makes sense, when you've eternity at your back.
[ he lets a little pause pass, a comfortable one - and offers a little more, in exchange. ]
...When I lost Vi before, I had no idea she was still around. There was no way to tell - death does not work that way. Then, we found each other again, and I promised I'd bring her back with me. I sat with her on the train, looked to the left, and she was gone.
Months passed, and then I found myself here with her. Reunited, again, and it was like no time passed. And then... gone, through my fingers. Over, and over.
I don't think it's about the time. I think it's about the loss itself. For me, at least.
Even without eternity. Even just in... normal ways. People leave.
[ she is not going to elaborate on her many varied experiences with this because that's not really the point and would make it seem like she's making it a competition. which it's not, it's just a foundation of how she looks at things. ]
... But I get it. It's annoying to not be able to talk to the people you want to. And repetition can make things—more sensitive rather than less. Sometimes.
...yeah. 'm sorry, that you get it. Everyone's got loss on their shoulders, one way or another.
[ though that's not about what she's said - it's about people leaving in normal ways, too. of course she gets it. that's the mortal experience, isn't it? to love, and to lose. it sucks, to have to share that, but it's camaraderie, too.
he shifts a little, heavy weighted, and nudges his good shoulder into alex's in thanks. ]
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[ quieter. ]
...I lost the ability to talk to the person I want to speak to the most every day weeks ago. Get a letter that works, once a week, but otherwise, she's gone. And I feel it every day.
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People die and people move away and people disappear all the time. They could be gone forever, or for months, or for years, without any word at all.
no subject
honestly, he's touched. it puts a small smile on his face, lopsided, and strohl huffs, looking down at his hands, and says wryly: ] Suppose that makes sense, when you've eternity at your back.
[ he lets a little pause pass, a comfortable one - and offers a little more, in exchange. ]
...When I lost Vi before, I had no idea she was still around. There was no way to tell - death does not work that way. Then, we found each other again, and I promised I'd bring her back with me. I sat with her on the train, looked to the left, and she was gone.
Months passed, and then I found myself here with her. Reunited, again, and it was like no time passed. And then... gone, through my fingers. Over, and over.
I don't think it's about the time. I think it's about the loss itself. For me, at least.
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[ she is not going to elaborate on her many varied experiences with this because that's not really the point and would make it seem like she's making it a competition. which it's not, it's just a foundation of how she looks at things. ]
... But I get it. It's annoying to not be able to talk to the people you want to. And repetition can make things—more sensitive rather than less. Sometimes.
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[ though that's not about what she's said - it's about people leaving in normal ways, too. of course she gets it. that's the mortal experience, isn't it? to love, and to lose. it sucks, to have to share that, but it's camaraderie, too.
he shifts a little, heavy weighted, and nudges his good shoulder into alex's in thanks. ]
Means a lot coming from you, though.
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Yeah, well. [ nyeh... ] I remember what it's like to care about that stuff.