well, he doesn't disagree that it's the focus - that they do need to plan, because of course, but he's not stupid, either. there's a beat - he knocks the side of his boot against hers again. ]
[ her head sliiiides off the chair that she's flopped out on, hanging off the edge. for a minute it seems like maybe she isn't going to answer, and then: ]
I don't know. I got fired, dumped, and found out my sister really is dead in one day. My options are drinking or drinking.
[ out of his mouth before he can even control it - with feeling, because. goddamn.
a beat, and then. ]
...I'm sorry, Vi. About your sister. [ because intimately, he understands how it feels to lose the things that anchor you to the world. about how much family matters. about how hard it hurts when it's gone. he's had seven years to cope, and those seven years have done little in easing the wound of the haliaetus family line. ] Talk about no cause.
[ because that's the other thing. he knows how that feels, too. staring down the moment of nothing. the void of what comes after, when you've lost everything. the grief of making it through your day to day. drinking or drinking
[ no, that's what she'd say too, honestly. like, damn, what do you even say to all that.
she stays where she is, staring dully across the way. ]
Thanks. [ ... ] It was mostly just a wakeup call.
[ she's not there anymore. all your memories, everything you remember - it's gone. changed. and it'll never be the same again, so what's the point? what's the point of trying to fix it? responsibility, she guesses. strohl is so nice to her - he relates to her, but she feels horrible putting it on his shoulders. he's already got a whole kingdom. ]
Let's not - get too in the weeds about my pity party. I'll be fine.
[ a wakeup call. he gets that too, in some ways - his eyes close, briefly, and behind them, there's fire. there's always fire. what can you do when the world around you upends? ]
I'd not call it pity. [ but he gets it. he doesn't want to focus too long on his, either - solution minded, as ever, and that's where his mind goes now, glancing at vi out of the corner of his eye. ]
... Sits wrong with me to hear, honestly. All this fighting to get out of here to go back to nothing.
[ her leg bounces absently, a little violently. she can hear him thinking, practically - he's not so terribly subtle. so when he doesn't say anything for a bit, she peers at him from where she's hanging out upside down. ]
[ the only time she is ever going to actually use his name is in times of duress, remember this well
anyway, a pause. ]
What, like I have any other choice? [ ... that's also what she's been thinking about. that she's going to go back and just never see any of the people here again, which sucks ass. people she feels like could be friends for as long as she lives, if she had the time. ]
and then she pulls herself up to sit, gripping at the chair. ]
... There's so much wrong with that. What if it throws me back out or incinerates me because I don't belong there or something. Don't I look weird in your world?
[ can she really just drop all the responsibility she has at home to fuck off to another universe? ]
[ (the distant sound of taair running around adopting like 40 orphans in euchronia)
it came out of his mouth before his brain entirely caught up to the suggestion - not an entirely unusual thing for strohl, but like many things that do, he starts to push through the follow through. they lock eyes for a moment, and there's no lie in his thoughtful expression, brows slightly furrowed as he sets a hand to his chin. ]
...There might be a big risk, sure. Not like we really even know how the hell we got here in the first place, and there're a lot of unknowns - and like you said, you'd be a bit off, since you're an elda...
[ the thoughtful frown stays a moment longer as he runs through those in his head, each possibility and how to solve them. the last one might honestly be the easiest - they'll have to think outside the box, but they could make up a story for where she came from, use makeup or something of the like to help her fit in. a rhoag, maybe - that's easy. and vi's life, and the place where she's stuck...
... he glances over at her again. ]
You're already treated just as badly where you are, aren't you? [ as not a topsider ] Can't say it's better, but you're the one who said you think we've a shot at setting things right. I agree.
[ ... ]
Sounds to me like, so long as we could make it actually happen, you might be stuck between rock and a hard place. A chance at potentially catastrophic failure for a chance for something new, or... a life spent drinking, or drinking, but something safer. High risk, high reward. Lower risk, less reward.
I know what I'd pick. [ and honestly, the idea of leaving her to go to that rankles strohl badly. to leave these people behind, to leave people suffering potentially or stuck in situations with nowhere to turn, it rankles him. especially vi, the person who he bonded with on day one, who thinks so much like him, who showed him her back with no fear.
his voice softens a little, though, brows knitting together, and he knocks his boot into hers again, gentle. ] ... There's no pressure, anyhow. You're right, we've still got this whole bloody mess to contend with - but...the offer's there. Just... think about it, yeah?
[ by the time he starts speaking again, her leg is bouncing violently, fingers curled in her pants leg. her thoughts are a whirlwind, something bitter like full of solutions, aren't we? you can just waltz in and fix everything, just like every noble always thinks they can. just like caitlyn did, just like jayce did, the confidence of someone who has never been told no in their life.
but that's - uncharitable, and it's defensive. and she knows it is, and she doesn't need to bite. he'd promised to watch her back, and she'd promised to watch his. and this is kind of just the result of that. strohl is so earnest, and he means this. it reminds her so terribly of a fresh-faced councilor's daughter, insisting that they could make a change if vi would only just pick up the badge.
is this allowed? is she allowed to leave the problem behind? she created a monster. two monsters, maybe. is it fair to just leave them to their mess? what would vander think?
she looks conflicted, by the time he knocks his boot against her own. ]
I... I'll think about it.
[ she says, a little faintly, before she even realizes that she is. a beat, and she brings a hand up to rub at the bridge of her nose, battling the headache.
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no subject
well, he doesn't disagree that it's the focus - that they do need to plan, because of course, but he's not stupid, either. there's a beat - he knocks the side of his boot against hers again. ]
What're you heading back to?
no subject
I don't know. I got fired, dumped, and found out my sister really is dead in one day. My options are drinking or drinking.
[ maybe get into pit fighting. that sounds fun. ]
no subject
[ out of his mouth before he can even control it - with feeling, because. goddamn.
a beat, and then. ]
...I'm sorry, Vi. About your sister. [ because intimately, he understands how it feels to lose the things that anchor you to the world. about how much family matters. about how hard it hurts when it's gone. he's had seven years to cope, and those seven years have done little in easing the wound of the haliaetus family line. ] Talk about no cause.
[ because that's the other thing. he knows how that feels, too. staring down the moment of nothing. the void of what comes after, when you've lost everything. the grief of making it through your day to day. drinking or drinking
silence, for a moment. ]
Those options are terrible.
no subject
she stays where she is, staring dully across the way. ]
Thanks. [ ... ] It was mostly just a wakeup call.
[ she's not there anymore. all your memories, everything you remember - it's gone. changed. and it'll never be the same again, so what's the point? what's the point of trying to fix it? responsibility, she guesses. strohl is so nice to her - he relates to her, but she feels horrible putting it on his shoulders. he's already got a whole kingdom. ]
Let's not - get too in the weeds about my pity party. I'll be fine.
no subject
I'd not call it pity. [ but he gets it. he doesn't want to focus too long on his, either - solution minded, as ever, and that's where his mind goes now, glancing at vi out of the corner of his eye. ]
... Sits wrong with me to hear, honestly. All this fighting to get out of here to go back to nothing.
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At least it's not prison. Probably.
[ dryly. she actually might get put back in prison, she supposes. it's not like she got out legitimately. ]
no subject
...
[ like. clearly there is something on his mind, but he doesn't say it right away, those little cogs in his brain running at mach fuck. ]
no subject
What are you thinking so hard about, fancy pants?
no subject
but also aside from the initial obligatory reaction... ]
... Do you really have to go back to that?
no subject
anyway, a pause. ]
What, like I have any other choice? [ ... that's also what she's been thinking about. that she's going to go back and just never see any of the people here again, which sucks ass. people she feels like could be friends for as long as she lives, if she had the time. ]
no subject
[ a beat - he glances sidelong. ]
... Doesn't that mean we could move about? Could always come back with us.
no subject
and then she pulls herself up to sit, gripping at the chair. ]
... There's so much wrong with that. What if it throws me back out or incinerates me because I don't belong there or something. Don't I look weird in your world?
[ can she really just drop all the responsibility she has at home to fuck off to another universe? ]
no subject
it came out of his mouth before his brain entirely caught up to the suggestion - not an entirely unusual thing for strohl, but like many things that do, he starts to push through the follow through. they lock eyes for a moment, and there's no lie in his thoughtful expression, brows slightly furrowed as he sets a hand to his chin. ]
...There might be a big risk, sure. Not like we really even know how the hell we got here in the first place, and there're a lot of unknowns - and like you said, you'd be a bit off, since you're an elda...
[ the thoughtful frown stays a moment longer as he runs through those in his head, each possibility and how to solve them. the last one might honestly be the easiest - they'll have to think outside the box, but they could make up a story for where she came from, use makeup or something of the like to help her fit in. a rhoag, maybe - that's easy. and vi's life, and the place where she's stuck...
... he glances over at her again. ]
You're already treated just as badly where you are, aren't you? [ as not a topsider ] Can't say it's better, but you're the one who said you think we've a shot at setting things right. I agree.
[ ... ]
Sounds to me like, so long as we could make it actually happen, you might be stuck between rock and a hard place. A chance at potentially catastrophic failure for a chance for something new, or... a life spent drinking, or drinking, but something safer. High risk, high reward. Lower risk, less reward.
I know what I'd pick. [ and honestly, the idea of leaving her to go to that rankles strohl badly. to leave these people behind, to leave people suffering potentially or stuck in situations with nowhere to turn, it rankles him. especially vi, the person who he bonded with on day one, who thinks so much like him, who showed him her back with no fear.
his voice softens a little, though, brows knitting together, and he knocks his boot into hers again, gentle. ] ... There's no pressure, anyhow. You're right, we've still got this whole bloody mess to contend with - but...the offer's there. Just... think about it, yeah?
no subject
but that's - uncharitable, and it's defensive. and she knows it is, and she doesn't need to bite. he'd promised to watch her back, and she'd promised to watch his. and this is kind of just the result of that. strohl is so earnest, and he means this. it reminds her so terribly of a fresh-faced councilor's daughter, insisting that they could make a change if vi would only just pick up the badge.
is this allowed? is she allowed to leave the problem behind? she created a monster. two monsters, maybe. is it fair to just leave them to their mess? what would vander think?
she looks conflicted, by the time he knocks his boot against her own. ]
I... I'll think about it.
[ she says, a little faintly, before she even realizes that she is. a beat, and she brings a hand up to rub at the bridge of her nose, battling the headache.
what would vander want? ]